My 5k was this past Saturday. I thought it would be fair to give a race report, since I talked about it last week.
So, in 5 words or less, here it is: "It was Terrible!"
When I left the Y last Wednesday night, I had just completed my last run before the race, and I was psyched! I felt like my goal was completely within my reach. Then, my ride home became the nightmare that I wrote about in the post below. And the race just didn't seem so important anymore.
Between Wednesday night and Saturday morning, I didn't sleep very well. I was crying at random times, and just really struggling with everything. But, I got up Saturday morning and went to the run.
It just wasn't happenin for me though. I felt like the race was poorly organized, and I almost missed the start, because they never announced that it was approaching. There was no sense of camaraderie among the runners, and it seemed like a chore to the volunteers to be there. There were no mile markers and no time clocks along the course, so I had no way of knowing how I was doing.
So, as far as my personal race goes, it was not good. I think that my body decided to release all of the stress and tension I'd been feeling since Wednesday. I was physically exhausted. After what I think was a mile, I seriously thought I was going to have to lay down on the grass and fall asleep. It wasn't that normal feeling of pushing yourself hard and feeling it. I really thought I was just going to need to stop and lay down. I kept going, but my legs felt like I was on a 10 mile run. After the race, I was physically sick, more than once.
My final time was 34:25. Which is 11:06 minutes per mile. That is 5 seconds slower than the 4 miler I did in March.
So there you have it. The ugly truth of just how badly I did. I'm not sure where to go from here. At this point, I'm trying to take care of myself. Both physically and emotionally.
As far as races go, I can sign up for another 5k in May. Or, I can focus on building distance to a 10k. I'll check with my tri mentor and see what she recommends, but I'm certainly open to suggestions.
5 comments:
Don't beat yourself up too much, Hei. You've got a lot of stuff to deal with right now. I think just running the race was a victory of sorts. You'll do much better next time out.
Props to you for finishing!!! Hopefully your tri mentor can give you some helpful advice!
Ditto to what Doohickie and Felicia said. Maybe you just need to just be and run for fun.
It is always a draining experience to be the first responder at an accident. If you are like me, you just couldn't feel that pulse because your hands were shaking too badly. My guess is that your body was still processing all of the toxins from that stressful experience. Your next race will go much better.
Heidi, the fact that you even went to do the race when it really sounds like your heart wasn't into it after the accident just shows how dedicated you are. I also think that with you seeing the accident after leaving from training that your mind was just waiting to have something like that happen again or you kept playing it in your mind. ((hugs))
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