Monday, September 6, 2010

The Winds of Change

Last night I had a dream that I was facing a tornado. The funnel cloud was completely black and filled most of the sky. As I watched it come closer, there was an ominous feeling in the air. I stood in the window and watched it coming right toward me. My mom was there. So were Mack, Jack, and our Dog. Kevin and Shayna were not there, but intuitively, I knew they were safe.

In this dream, I was starting to panic. How will I keep my babies safe? What will we do if the tornado hits? Every thing will change, and life as we know it will never be the same.

And then my Mom took my arm and said, "take care of right now. It's scary, but every thing will be okay." And, I knew she was right.

Well, it doesn't take a dream expert to figure this one out. I've been facing some big changes in my life, and I'll fill you in.

First; work. And, this is a big one. As many of you know, I came to my current job over two years ago. I was recruited by the company to start the department up. Until recently, I loved my job. I felt that the company was working hard to become clinically sound, and to truly put people first in all decisions. I felt that upper management was working to shift the perspective of the company, and I was happy to be part of the shift. I loved going to work. I loved the team that I was working with. Then, sometime this spring, we got a new regional manager. He replaced our office manager with one of his golf buddies. They made it very clear that they see no value in my job- because it doesn't make enough of a profit for the company. They said it loudly, and in front of the entire office. The RM said, he'd like to eliminate the position in every office across the state. Well, that was the gust of wind, that set the stage for the impending Tornado.
Things progressed in a downward spiral from that day on. Finally, 3 weeks ago, I realized that the office I'm in, is the most unhealthy work environment I have ever been in. So, I resigned. I wanted to walk out immediately, but forced myself to be responsible, and gave a notice.

Ahh. The tornado.

I have no job lined up. I have three offers from other area agencies, to do the same job that I am doing now.But here's the truth: I don't know that I want to do it any more. And, in my career, if your heart isn't in it, then you shouldn't be doing it.

Some one asked me what my fantasy job is. It took me about a day to realize where my heart is truly at at this point in my life. The problem is, the career I want doesn't exist. At least not in this area.

So, I did some research, to determine if this area would support the career I want. And, I think it does. I drafted a letter to a local business owner, pitching my idea. He responded this week. He's been thinking along the same lines as me, and he wants to meet with me to see about joining his team!

I would be remiss if I didn't take the time to give a huge thanks to my friend/cousin Kathy, for being willing to read the letter and brainstorm with me about how to approach this idea. So, Thanks Kath! I also want to thank Ryder for taking the time to listen to me, and for walking with my while I started to sort the whole mess out in my head. And Shayna, for being so incredibly supportive of my dream. Of course, Kevin for being willing to listen to me complain about my current situation, before I got up the courage to resign. Finally, to Mary. She asked me what my dream job would be, and didn't laugh when I told her. Since then, she has sent me countless links and sources of information to help me out.

Seperate from that, I have decided to pursue getting my level one coaching certificate from USAT for Triathlon. This will be an extended process, as all the classes are full for the year. 2011 classes have not yet been posted.But, I'm doing some of the preliminary stuff to get going.

I should tell you that the dream ended with the tornado turning at the last minute, and every thing was okay. Different, from the experience; but okay.

2 comments:

BipolarTurtle said...

Oh, yes the winds of change are strong through out our house as well. It is a very scary and exciting ride. Sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith. Just like Celine Dion's song "Taking Chances" What do you say to taking chances,
"What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?"

Sending you positive vibes and thoughts.

With Love,
BPT

Felicia said...

I think it's amazing that you followed your heart! Congratulations! I wish you all the best of luck! Can't wait to hear about how this progresses!